This all makes perfect sense. Your wife sounds like and an attractive, intelligent, charismatic woman. I can understand to some extent why you are head over heels in love with her.
But you are only one aspect of her life. You can't expect to fill her every need and void. One cannot define their self by a relationship.
Does she "know herself." Is she trying to?
EXCELLENT. Her interactions with you can teach alot of people on this site a great deal of what they need to understand for themselves. Do you see how she is just not casting into the same spot? But searching for something. Something other than another person to define herself as?
I suggested to SOTO that he go for a hike. EXPLORE. He didn't understand the need to look at yourself and how you relate to the world around you from another perspective. Your writings about your wife suggests she does.
Although she is confusing you it is very clear what she is doing.
