Made what could have been a critical mistake today, but got by with it. She texted me a question, and instead of just answering it and going on, I added "Why?" to the end of my answer. I know better and that all that does is invite conversation, but thankfully she just answered the question in a benign way and didn't try to extend the conversation.
I know better, but this stuff is hard to do. I shared my mistake with my local resource so they could make sure to hold me accountable in the future.
The hardest part for me is I don't know what she is thinking and if this is having any effect on her at all. It is hard to not be in communication with the person who has been your best friend for the past 25 years. Things are happening in my career that are real exciting and I want to share them with her, but I know now is not the time. If I only knew that my choices were having an effect on her view of our R then it would be so much easier.
I know, I need to stop worrying about her and work on me. I am doing that, but the truth is that it is really hard. Just being honest.
M - 43 WAXW - 42 Married - 24 years Together - 25 years S - 23 - passed away 10/17/09 S - 22 Bomb - PA - 6/23/10 - WAW moved in with OM same night D-day - 9/17/10
