Well, I am most definitely not one for inaction. I decided to face my fears and went to my H's office. He was in with a sales rep and had a bit of problem introducing me as his W (he told the sales person my name but did not say 'she is my W' and was very clearly uncomfortable )

I asked him to go to lunch with me, but he could not and nearly rushed me out of there. Did not want to give me a quick kiss... I did not notice whether he was wearing his wedding ring, either.

OW was in her own office, next door and her daughters were around. I wished her a happy TG in a cheery voice and asked about her children and grandchildren. I even asked for pictures of her new 5 month old granddaughter (poor kid). She showed me the ones she had and of course in all the foto montages she has on the walls there are pictures that include my H (one in Puerto Vallarta, when I was pregnant, another in her son's wedding - three days after we separated...). I acted 'as if' I had not noticed the pictures and was very upbeat.

She asked about holiday plans and I told her the truth: that WE were going to buy TG dinner because I was working and did not feel like cooking and would stay quietly at home. And that for Xmas we are not sure. I said I felt weird about the holidys this year and that maybe SIL and her significant other would come to spend them with us. That we did not feel like going to my folks... I used plural all the time (I think).

I was drinking water and held my glass in the left hand, with my wedding band quite visible... She had seen it back in May and knew it was too big for me and I had refused to fix it while we were separated...

So if she wants to hear the bells... they are there.

I will have to talk to my H about his hesitancy to introduce me as his W... I did not like that.

"You don't throw a whole life away just 'cause it's banged up a little" Tom Smith in "Seabiscuit"