You sound like you are doing fantastic. I have my moments, and then I have other moments, you know. Great about having H coming over to eat your cooking. Make sure you make all his homemade favorites. Wrap up any left overs and send them back with him. Make a plate for the OW!LOL I've wondered if my H misses any of the special things I used to cook for him? Maybe your OW and my OW have the same special chef - Arby's.
Thanks Punkin. I have my moments, too, so know exactly what you mean.
As far as fixing a plate for ow, ah, that's not going to happen. lol. The only way I'd ever fix any dish that was for the ow would be for the one to pass after her funeral. Hmmmm, wonder if she'd extend the same courtesy to me?
Anyway, it will be interesting to see if H will even eat much. It may be uncomfortable for him here. He's already told D he will be late because he has to work. I know better than anyone that he could very well not work, especially for a special occasion. All of our family and friends will be here and H, and I'm only guessing by his actions, is feeling either guilty or ashamed at what he's done. Maybe it's as simple as he just can't stand any of us anymore, or because the ow gets pissed, depressed and resentful of the time he spends here. Who knows? I'm just not going to waste time thinking about it.
I'm just going to cook up a storm and look good and be gracious and friendly to everyone.
After all, it's D's special day and I'm very proud of her accomplishments. She never let the ball drop, even after the bomb.
I've got some questions that if someone can help with I'd sure appreciate.
The governor of my state is supposedly about to sign a 'No Fault' divorce bill into legislation. Can someone tell me what that would entail? I knew what the prior laws were, but this changes them.
If I am to be divorced it will be because my H initiates it. He has done nothing legally about it besides his initial talk with our lawyer in the beginning. H was under (and still may be) that we would use one lawyer in this. I have not told him that that will not be my intention and that I will retain an attorney of my own. Since it will be him that does, I will ask that he pays attorney fees.
I have not consulted a L yet mainly because I do not have the money to retain one at this time. Everything is separate at this time except one joint account which H puts the child support into. H has faithfully paid the max w/o a problem. I take care of all of the utilities out of my pay for the house. The utilities are in H's name. I'm giving him money for them and have no problem with it. (I do record it though.) I have told him several times to give me the statements with the account numbers on them so I can call and get them switched into my name. S26 mentioned it again to H today and H told him he didn't know how easy that would be. Has anybody done this before a divorce took place? I just don't think it would be that difficult getting them switched, but maybe I'm wrong.
Also, in the beginning of this H said he would continue to pay my car insurance. Car is titled in H's name. I paid the last two installments. It has come due again and the statement came here. S26 took it to his father. (work in the same place) and H made the statement, "Yeah, I have to get that separated." I don't know if he still intends on paying it after it's separated or not. Do I ask him his intentions as I am tapped with taking care of the house.
SA, I don't know about your state, but here it simply means no fight, no contest, simple split of property, minimum attorney involvement, and basicially, I don't like you and you don't like me so there. The husband & wife basically sign a paper and walk away.
In my state, it means one does not have to prove the other did anything wrong. You can not fight it b/c no reason for the D must be offered. However, property splits are not simple, nor are alimony, custody, and child support issues. A new law in my state allows the judge to consider infidelity when determining alimony and property settlements. That means, so far, that a husband does not have to pay alimony to a cheating wife. She can dump her H but he won't have to pay for it.
Many family law attorneys will give you a free consult. This will give you info on what you are entitled to in a D, answer any procedural questions, and L can tell you what to expect from L before handing over a retainer. Talk to at least 3 of these first. But remember, they are in the divorce business and will send you down that path like a ford dealer trying to sell you a ford instead of a chevy. Tell them upfront you will not file but want to be prepared when/if H does.
"If you strike me down, I will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine!" 1st thread
