One more thing as we cannot financially afford to physically separate....I have been offering up the concept of space/separation opportunities.
For example I have set up a weekend trip for her to the beach this weekend. Thought it would give her the chance to decompress...for her to be by herself. Will bring kids up Sunday morning to have a family time and try to live in the moment and have fun. End of month we are going to visit her sister they live on an 80 acre farm. I will fly back after a few days and she will have 10 days without me....just her and the kids visiting family. She is not sure it will be enough but thankful for the space.
More FIXING.
You're trying to FIX her, and trying to TEACH her. The first is NEVER a good idea, and the second can't be done in her current (still emotionally attached to OM) state.
Her current fantasy/mindset/"offer" (live side-by-side, separated, with you purusing her to see how that "feels" to her) is a hot mess. Don't encourage it.
