21 years of marriage hanging by a thread

[Chuck66]

I am all EARS about anything and everything that will help my family and it is received in the spirit given.


I had a good morning. She was in bed last before we got home so I never got to talk to her. I made sure I got up early with her so she couldn't avoid me.

I talked about what her boss had to say and she said he was not going to press charges. She told him the cops were really mean to her. I asked if she was crying. She said not just with her boss but the whole day.

I left the room and got the kids dressed, teeth brushed, beds made, etc and made sure the kids were out of earshot and I faced her and said, "I said the other night you kept yelling I didn't take the f**king money and I kept telling you I believe you and support you." She said, "I just thought it was an odd coincidence that this was happening right during our divorce (no one has still filed). I said "You don't know me very well then because I have always supported you. I believe you and still support you in this and your health."

"I went to great effort to get you the IC appt yesterday and you said you couldn't break away but ended up at the pharmacy at the time of your appt. Do not disrespect me again." I said it calmly but firmly.

She said, "I called over there and they said there was no appt for me." I said, "There was no reason for you to call over there except to cancel the appt. You did not have an appointment but they were going to see you at 1pm anyway because I told them you may not be alive in mid-Aug for your next appt. So they made room. All you had to do was show up. Do not disrespect me like that."

She had a small pause and said, "It won't happen again," I said I will always support you but I will not be a doormat" and walked out of the room.

She actually took a banana with her for breakfast! I purposely stood outside to see what kind of goodbye I was going to get.

I got kisses and hugs from the kids and mom stood next to the car and said I'll call you later. I said ILY and she said ILY and she waved and drove off.

I am off to Barnes and Noble for DB book and Dr Phil's Book too. The I am going to see if I can get a print out from our pharmacy on how many times she has refilled the Butalbital. I can't believe the Dr who I went to last year with concerns about W's anorexic tendencies gave her Butalbital. One of the major side effects is loss of appetite. Lots of Dr's stopped using this med in the 1970-1980's because of the highly addictive nature it has.

I know her pill popping is not the only cause for our problems. It's just one more one the list.

I also asked her why she needed to work the C-store for more money and she said she didn't know how long this [divorce] was all going to take. Not sure I buy that because I told her (fudged) that a divorce can be done in less than 4 weeks. And she had been saying that since. I know it would take longer. So still not sure about the money thing.

Maybe I need to get a book on setting boundaries for kids too.

Chuck