Question

[awest1217]

As always, whenever we have a R talk, H is completely silent. He won't respond to anything and doesn't ask about S. That is the part that i don't get. I have such a hard time letting S go with H when he doesn't even know him. He has no idea what goes on in S's life from day to day. He just wants to have his cake and eat it too I guess. He wants to see S and be his "playmate", but not really parent at all. Not help if S is sick or go to appointments, unless it is convenient for him.

He wants to stay married so he can have family time and show off his family so he doesn't have to deal with the backlash of everyone knowing he left his family.

He wants to stay married because then he has no financialy responsibility, but can get some of the perks of being married, but only have to pay for child support.

He is such a different man than what I married, or at least I thought I married. The man I married had selfish points, but really wanted to do what was best for us (maybe not as much as I thought because as he pointed out he only bought "extra" stuff for him and never anything for me, like DVDs, TVs, iPods, gaming systems, and video games). I always thought he was the most loyal person in the world and that was one trait I could stake anything on. Well...that was wrong... We talked in length when another family we knew was going through divorce and separation how hard it was on the children and how the girls were suffering in their Rs (the oldest girl was in junior high and high school and she was throwing herself at guys). How the dad needed to make up his mind because he would eat dinner with the family although they were separated and Ding (but that dad still completely gave all of his money to the family) so it hurt the girls because it was confusing if they were together or not. Now he wants that exact life. Funny how people change.