No longer "stuck808". Now my name is Bond. "MrBond

[MrBond]

Hi sandi,

I value your 2x4's more than I think you realize Mom. Take me out to the woodshed whenever you think I need it.

I would say that you are correct in every single one of your points. I would go one further in terms of saying that I'm controlling because I end up with "expectations" and have ended up trying to move things along according to my timeline and not hers.

It's strange but all this has especially happened in the past 3 months. I'm at the point where I really don't care about her any more and I was afraid of losing that connection. My "letting go" has gotten me to the point where I really don't care about her and that scared me.

Also there were times that she started to do things in a positive way and to me those times (although they have been increasing as of late) aren't coming fast enough.

I really think she's slowly coming out of her fog, but the bottom line is that she doesn't want me now and hasn't tried to figure out why things happened the way they did. No counseling, barely talks to me, but she comes up with these little positive signs that shows that she is "trying". But I don't believe she knows how to "try" correctly. She's still doing it all on her own.

So where I wanted to "guide" her, it does become controlling which is the last thing I want.

You're also right that the things with the OM still bother me. Moreso because I'm still afraid that he could still do something and she still sweeps it all under the rug and not putting any worry about this nut.

Today sent me a message wishing me a good day at work. This again is something she hasn't done in over a year. So it's hard for me to not wonder if this is her way of "trying" so I don't know if I should acknowledge this or just blow it off.

She told me on Monday that she basically stayed at her sister's all day on Sunday and slept around 7:00pm when she finished work on Monday. I really wish she would go in for a physical at the very least.

My C told me that when my W does something, a whisper is like a roar to her. Like when there was something she would disagree with me on, she would make one offhand comment and I would blow it off because it didn't sound like a big deal to me when in fact it was. So in this case where she calls and sends messages, I don't know if this is also the case here. Should I continue to back off or should I engage (not full pursuit) and thank her for her call and email?

There were several women who have shown interest in me, but like my other friend, I'm just not ready yet. But of course the attention is great.

So besides wishing me a good day today, she also invited me to her cousin's wedding reception. Positives coming very slowly.