WAH and LBW separated and dark

[DumpedforMIL]

And to be honest.. what you are afraid of is what you are already living.

i don't want my current situation to be permanent.
i don't want the rest of my life to be like this.

The reason you keep falling back into the anger trap.. is because you think you were forced into it.

yes. i am angry that i was forced into it and i never got to tear into him for doing this to me. and i'm being told that it doesn't matter at this point what i have to say. so i feel even more angry.

You can't do anything to push him further away than he is right now. Understand that.

ok. agreed.

This idea ties in with why I have been on you to form up a statement. I wanted it to describe your thought about all this in a non-fingerpointing way. The stage you are at.. a email is not gonna cut it.. a letter is not going to cut it. It will have to be something that you can stand in front of him and deliver with "No Emotion". You don't need to understand why he left. You don't need to know what he plans to do down the road.

i am going to spend some time to really think about this statement. what was wrong with the draft statement posted on alt? too much anger?

i am quite sure i am still driving him away but i don't know why. i have toned down the looks, cut out the digs, i don't call, i don't knock, i don't text, i don't email. all d/s talk is done via l. i have not brought up anything yet.

You need to define your thoughts as to why you think this is a poor decision on his part. Does not matter if he ever responds to it either.

this is a challenge. to say why this is a poor decision on his part and yet try to be non-finger pointing seems impossible. a bit contradictory as well. but i get it.

It is my opinion that you do not do anything to move the D forward. Let him do it. I mean if you want to be done.. then fine. Do it.

i'm afraid i won't be able to handle it when i get served.
i have this sixth sense and for some reason, i believe it's coming. he's been noticeably absent at squash lately which means something is up. the last time he was noticeably absent, the financial statements were delivered and i threw a fit at his claims.

i also believe he's reading these posts. i have spoke about filing. so he may try to beat me to it - it's all a game to him cuz he thinks i just want to win. Win what? like how childish.

Running short on time again.. I will be back.

i hope you will be back soon. i need to have a checkpoint meeting to gauge my progress and whether i am being effective.