Quick update:

Just got back from vacation. The kids and I had a really good time, even though I did come down with a cold/fever/bad ear infection that laid me out for part of it. Still managed to get them to a few theme park visits, plus swimming, bike riding, etc. The other family who we went with were great. I had hoped to meet up with some of my friends and family while we were down in FL, but the timing was off.

I still find myself thinking about my old life when things are quiet...seems like such a long time ago, like ex was someone in a dream somewhere. I guess I still have the "sitch" in my hand at times, fiddle with it, turn it over and over, but the rough edges of that rock have worn down and gotten smooth with time - it is smaller, with no (ok, with few) cutting shards.
I made the mistake of looking through FB, and the gf finally posted pics of her and ex together as her profile pic: a vacation shot, an event they attended. It was.....weird, surreal, I guess. Someone I don't know told her the picture was great. It used to be me. Now, there she is, hair dyed blonde (which matches mine). Next to him, with his arm around her.
No tears, just a mild surprise. A flash of anger, I think. And one of my exSIL's has recently become friends with her on FB (we are not). The one who said she never liked her (having met her at various family parties we had thrown over the years) - guess she got over that.

My (ex)in-laws are going down to visit their youngest son this weekend - his baby will be a year old, and it is a family party. Mom forgets sometimes that I wouldn't automatically know about these things, anymore. She was so excited to show me the gifts she had bought the baby, what she knitted for him. It is beyond clear now that I am not welcome to ever know this nephew...never met him. My kids are with their father this weekend, so there was no "need to know." I think it is still a little unsettling that my kids go on, continue having relationships with family that I am no longer privledged to - they will grow up having this whole other life that I am not included in. It looks like ex got what he wanted, to a large extent - it is like I have simply disappeared and she has taken my place.

I'm not crying over this...the word "sad" doesn't even cover it right. It is just so...strange.
A quote from a movie just floated up to the surface:
"Very few people surprise me."
"Yeah, well, you're lucky. Most of 'em shock the hell outta me."