Early Parole from the MLC Chain Gang?????

[MHL]

More Journaling, sorry…I really want to keep up with the things that are happening. The positive baby steps are coming faster and faster. My work now is to keep expectations down, not let my mind run away with crazy thoughts and stay consistent in my behavior. Easy right?????.....not so but I am getting used to it.

Tonight my kids went over to eat dinner with my W, S10 is spending the night and D13 came home after. I have been real careful to not press my D13 for any information about my W and how she is feeling or what she is saying. I have learned to keep my mouth shut and eventually my D13 sings out like a bird. Tonight was not exception, I picked her up at the bookstore said goodbyes to S10 and my W. I did not say anything on the way home, I only responded if my D13 said something. When we got home D13 wanted to go for a bike ride….I said sure. While we were riding I asked if she wanted to take the bikes to Nana’s this weekend and she said yes, then she said, “Oh, I asked mom if she wanted to go with us again and mom said no, not yet but probably in the future”, all I said was “really”.

My D13 went on to tell me that mom said that she wants to work on the M in the future but not right now. D13 asked why and mom told her that we had an argument/something happened between us recently that she wants to get over first. (could be the ML with me a couple of weeks ago) D13 also said that she could tell that mom still loves me because the way she smiled when she was talking about it. She also said that mom was smiling when she was texting me tonight. We were just talking about the pick up tonight. D13 said that she now has hope that mom and dad will get back together.

When I think back on the last couple of weeks, my W has really changed her tune dramatically.

June 8th….my W tells me she is going to file for D on Aug 26 (one year and a day as reqd by state)
June 13th ML with my W
June 20th W comes over to house for father’s day, reconciles with D.
June 24th D13 asks mom if we are going to get a D, and my W tells her probably
July 3rd My W comes over to neighborhood pool party with all our friends there. (reconnection??)
July 5th My W comes back over to hang out at pool while I’m gone with kids on Vacation. (more reconnection??)
July 13th My W tells D13 that she wants to work on the M in the future, but not right now.

I am really starting to see things move in a definite good direction. When I think back to a year ago and being on the rollercoaster, I was not patient enough to get through the day much less an entire month. The patience required is far beyond what I ever imagined. But with time and consistent behavior you eventually start to see progress. I decided back on May 22 that I was not going to have any more arguments/ negative interactions with her no matter what and I haven’t. I know I still have a long ways to go and some of the hardest work lies ahead.

Little Friday is 2 days away!!!!!

Cheers