You bite onto that and you are SUNK.. it is NOT giong to help you.. even TALKING to them is just INVITING your wife to do the SAME THING and you don't LIKE that DO YOU?
Well I just found out that her parents have been telling her everything. And I mean everything.
They told her about the conversation we had the night she left. This has made her extremely angry, and I am now positive her parents are no longer with me.
Plus she has contacted a Realtor and is looking for townhouses. She is assuming that I will cave in to sell and that she can start the process of buying a townhouse this Summer.
Her parents are going to be extremely angry at me if I don't consent to sell the house because of the really "unhealthy" situation she is living in now.
And NONE of this comes from HER. It all comes from 100% verifiable genuine intel and contact.
You guys are right. All this is gut-wrenching. Her parents are now telling her that divorce and moving out are the best options.
Me - 32 Her -30 Married - 7 Years Together - 9 Years No Kids 05/21 - Bomb 6/8 - Exposed 7/9 - Re-Exposed 06/11 - She Filed
Her parents are going to be extremely angry at me if I don't consent to sell the house because of the really "unhealthy" situation she is living in now.
Who cares? What is best for YOU? Do you want the house do you not want the house.
They think it is unhealthy based upon the spin of a mad-woman. They are being lied to same as you are being lied to.
You are still too reactive and worrying about everyone else.
Please worry about you. Take care of you. Think about you.
Me 44 She 46 S13 D9 M18 T23 3 years DB'ing Successfully busted
OR ELSE WHAT!!!!!??????? I cannot agree with Allen enough. Why is SHE calling the shots? Do NOT be around on Friday.
You have two choices? Says who? You have a million choices. Why is she dictating options to you. Everything you write is about what she says, what she might do. What do you want to do?
I can smell your fear from here. This is a 4x4 not a 2x4! Please realize you are fuc!ed. Going easy on her is NOT going to save your marriage. Allowing her to bully you is NOT going to save your marriage. Somehow you keep coming back to worrying about what might upset her. FORGET IT!
Your only chance rests with doing what is good for you and your self-respect. Your current, weakling stance on things will have you divorced at best or living as a cuckold in perpetuity at worst. Face it.
Not a single marriage that I can think of has been saved without this first step. What you are doing is NOT working. Please stop posting over and over about how bad she wants out and what fearful thing she might do to you if you don't bend over and take it. You know what??? If you bend over and take it, she's just gonna do more of it.
Trust the folks here, stand up to her, really stand up to her. try something different. It will throw her for a loop and she may get far more mad than she already is (I remember my wife drunk, crazy pissed, shouting obscenities at me, literally flailing around akin the tazmainian devil from the cartoons).
Standing up to her might get your wife back, if nothing else, it will get your balls back and you're gonna need those whether she stays or goes.
But I had REAL trust in her parents. At the beginning they were SO AGAINST the divorce. Now they are tired of me and just want to see their daughter out of the marriage. The exposure talks, the talking about the marriage, all seemed to have pushed them away. OR my wife has run AMAZING counter exposure and blew me out of the water. Either way, It sucks.
That hurts ALOT. It appears now that I am the only one fighting for the marriage.
She has so many friends and family that are holding her up through this and telling her that this will be OK and she will be happy. Even her parents are saying that this is the best decision.
That really hurts too. It feels like it is me against the world, and the world is screaming to her "divorce him".
But I WILL NOT let her get the upper hand. I have to stop worrying about what everyone thinks.
I know this will push everyone away and they will scream louder to divorce me. But if you guys say this is the ONLY chance I have, then I need to man up.
Puppy, was your sitch this bad? Were her parents telling her to get out, get a condo, and get divorced?
Me - 32 Her -30 Married - 7 Years Together - 9 Years No Kids 05/21 - Bomb 6/8 - Exposed 7/9 - Re-Exposed 06/11 - She Filed
No, my in-laws were supportive of the marriage. But my wife's behavior was just as bad, as were her statements of gloom about my chances. She told me "I'm DIVORCING YOU!" a bunch of times, and my intel turned up her saying that I made her "physically sick to my stomach," and "I will never, EVER stay married to him!"
It was pretty bad.
The biggest difference was, I wasn't nearly as REACTIVE as you are. I'm a guy that's slow to move, but once I move, I move FAST and DETERMINED, and I'm not going to let others' pessimism deter me. Once I decided to bust the affair and DB, I could more or less care less what others thought.. certainly not my wife, who I viewed (correctly) as addicted and hopeless in her current state.
