Hi Future,
Have spent a few minutes getting caught up on your life. Maybe I can help shed light on a woman's perspective...and maybe I've got a little bit in common with your wife after all!

I just got back from taking my 2 kids to Spain--we went for two weeks and it was WONDERFUL. I lived in Spain for a few years in my 20's. Back then, I was so free and easy and fun. Then I got married and had kids, and I spent all of my time focused on them and not me. I lost my 'self' in being a wife and mother and working. While I loved my H and kids, I felt like I had disappeared.

Now I'm seeing someone new and am having a hard time balancing "me". I don't want to lose myself again. I want to see him once a week or so. Not every day. I don't even want to talk to him every day. And he is a very, very nice, enjoyable person. I disagree that a woman wants to be with a man all the time if she likes/loves him. Not a woman in her 40's or 50's who has had very, very little time to herself outside of being a wife, a mom and a professional. So, maybe your W just needs some space to get herself back--and to get some hobbies and spend time with her friends.

I was dreading talking to my new guy yesterday because I was going to have to tell him I don't want to see him again until this weekend. Instead, I want to have dinner with a friend tomorrow (my kid-free night) and don't want to feel bad or guilty that he's waiting around for me. Anyway, I was starting to feel dragged down with the "responsibility" of being someone's partner and was thinking that this just isn't going to work for me right now. To my pleasant surprise, when I called him this morning he was very upbeat and friendly and told me about the plans he had for the next several days and asked me what my plans were and we found a time when we could both see eachother. So, now I'm really looking forward to seeing him again. I don't feel like he's waiting around for me to call the shots or to fill in his empty spaces.

Maybe that could be a different perspective on your W. DON'T wait around for her but if you've both got some time and want to do something, be open to it...