I'm not trying to talk you into separation from your W. I just wanted to let you know that this same story has been told many times and the LBH cannot seem to keep himself from observing every move & every word that comes from her. Neither am I telling you to give up hope. I am trying to give you fair warning that it could get very ugly before it starts to get better.

She would not necessarily act differently if you were S, but when thrown together...it tends to put people on edge and the buttons start getting pushed very easily.

The other way of looking at this would be to see it as you getting another chance to show her how you've changed. Your biggest hope will be for her to fall in love with you the second time around.

But men do not realize how long these things can take and they become very impatient and stressed out. As I said before, your W is going to feel more trapped as time goes by and guess who she is going to punish? The one she resents the most.

The thing about MC before reconciling is that she will probably use the sessions to tell the C how awful you are. Don't let it become a fighting match. She doesn't need to get the C's approval for D, either.

So if you want to stay under the same roof with her, you need to brace yourself. Make goals and set boundaries. Even if she doesn't consider herself your W....she must respect you as a man and the father of her children.

I know it's a touchy subject for some women, but I come from the old Bible School where the man is the head of his home. By "head", that means the responsibility for his family stops with him. He leads. He sets the example before his children. He enforces the boundaries. He is the provider. He is the protector. Whenever that order gets misplaced, you can count on a family/marriage falling apart.

Keep your children grounded by making sure they receive lots of physical affection from you. Give them words of affirmation. Let them know you "approve" and accept them. Make sure you have them in Church. Most of all.....pray for them, and pray for your W that she will see things clearly and that God will help her find her way back to you.

I will pray with you. I will pray for you, b/c this will take a lot of strength,but you know what you are promised......you can do all things through Christ which strengthens you. Wow! Who could ask for anything more?

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!