If you plan to detach, then you must stop rescuing her. Whatever is happening with her....it's addictive and she is "feeding" from something or somebody.
If she's this wired, I think you need to get a professional involved instead of getting advice off sites like this. That's not to say I don't want to support you, but something in this seems very unusual. I believe she is a tragedy waiting to happen.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
