Just found out she already filed

[newmama]

Oh and I was totally the peace maker too...they allowed it! My worst memory was being 15 and sitting my parents down to help them decide who was responsible for paying what bill...I was so desperate for them to stay married! I still can't believe they listened to me and followed my direction and didn't tell me to not worry about it!

My sisters are peacemakers because they know not to talk about something fun they did with dad or dad's wife because my mom will make a snarky comment and get upset. Why does she care? She was the one who divorced him and she is remarried now! But they keep the peace by avoiding conflict which means suppressing their feelings...

[ImprovedRomeo]

Ah I understand kat, thanks. I'll make sure that doesn't happen.

NM, thanks for the support. Actually I forgot to mention what DD said about 15 mins later after our talk. She said "daddy, you know why I don't want to go do fun stuff with you? because I want to go do some fun stuff with mommy. mommy never does fun stuff, we just stay home" awwwww...I know she has fun with STBXW and they go out but I take her places that stbxw probably doesn't. I used to be the one to get everyone out of the house on the weekends. STBXW didn't really 'want' to go but would go along and then have fun too. Camping was the same way...we'd all look forward to it weeks in advance but then a day or two before STBXW would act like she didn't want to go. I realize I let her take care of the food stuff and I took care of making sure the camper and the truck were ready, the gas cylinders, batteries were good, the sink pump etc were working. She complained that I didn't help her with the meal planning and was always criticizing her. Which I'm guilty of doing...but not a lot especially since she mentioned it. I think she took it as criticism since she never wanted to go in the first place so anything I asked like 'did you pack the xyz' just as a reminder she'd say 'YES! why don't you pack stuff if you're so concerened about it'- I'd just stay quiet mostly or tell her that's not what I meant.

Anyway, back to DD...so I told her that if she wants to do fun stuff with mommy she can just ask mommy and I'm sure she'll take her. But at the same time daddy and her can also do fun stuff that way she'll have twice the fun.

[ImprovedRomeo]

I sent a one liner to STBXW yesterday: "Please let me know how DD's first day at the camp goes"

She sent me an SMS (MMS) with a pic of DD yesterday and just replied:


She had a good day at camp and was happy but tired when I picked her up. She eats dinner there but complained that she didn't have dessert, lol. They play some games and do crafts and stuff too. There are about 10 girls in her group. Her group is the light purple one and its against a big tree in the middle of the picnic area to the right of the parking which is on the left. They also have a big light purple banner against their meeting place (which is the tree.) You need to make sure that you sign her out each night you take her home. I think overall she's having a good time there. She said she wanted to go back today so I guess that's a good indication that she had fun.


Just info that I asked for so I'm simply going to say "OK. Thanks for letting me know"

[ClingingToHope]

I'm on a text limited plan so I wouldn't even respond. Right now I'm in the mode that I don't even ask STBXW for updates like this. I just ask D11 or D7 themselves.

Hey, your earlier post sounds a lot like the dynamic I had with STBXW in regards to doing stuff. She always complained that I did too much with the girls. She said there's nothing wrong with just sitting and finding their own fun.

To me, that's code for "I just want to watch TV and they can go do whatever."

That's how STBXW grew up. They would go to the family campground every weekend and her mom and dad would sit in a trailer watching TV and she and her sisters were free to do whatever.

I believe in unstructured play, but I also wanted to enjoy my kids' childhood so whenever possible I wanted to get out and do stuff with them.

D11 is nearing the point where being seen with her parents is uncool.

The situation has gotten more pronounced as STBXW gained weight. She hates being seen in a swim suit now so the girls are pretty much on their own when swimming at the campground.

It's really a shame. STBXW got down to a very firm size 2 after D11 was born and then down to a size 4 after D7. At the beginning of 2008, when everything died between us, she started gaining weight and the last I knew she's up to a size 16.

[whatisis]

wii, wow, didn't know you were so passionate about that. That's so awesome...being a girl's dad will do that to you. Yeah I liked Taken and also 'law abiding citizen'- though a bit gruesome. Anyway, yeah a lot of it is horse poo...you can't go around blowing sh*t up in other countries I don't care how trained or good you are. You can't take on 15 guys with weapons and disarm and knock them to the ground no matter what you ate for breakfast. However, to me it's a bit of a fantasy to be a super dad, a super husband who always comes through and can kick some behind.

[/quote]

What I found so unrealistic was the fact that the traffickers are hanging around the airport looking for young American girls to abduct. Traffickers don't go looking for people who will have embassies and authorities out looking for them. It's way too easy to go to villages, like in the former soviet union, and sell fantasies about great jobs in Europe, get them on the bus and away you go. No questions ever asked and governments that really don't give a crap about a few less mouths to feed. When they get to Europe the girls passports are confiscated and they are brutalized, if they don't co-operate they are killed in front of the other girls. Nice new life, eh! So kidnapping Americans for sex trafficking, not in a million years! It's bad business.

[ImprovedRomeo]

Yeah, STBXW will land on the moon IF she wants to...it's hard to get her to do anything if she doesn't want to. She'll start resenting it and holding a grudge without really saying or showing anything. It'll all come out as a surprise when she blows up.

It's really a shame. STBXW got down to a very firm size 2 after D11 was born and then down to a size 4 after D7. At the beginning of 2008, when everything died between us, she started gaining weight and the last I knew she's up to a size 16.

Is it really silly of me to not know what women sizes mean? I have no idea how little a size 4 is vs. a size 16- but I get the gist of it. Yeah I too noticed last time when we were separated STBXW had gained weight and she's a skinny girl. I think 120lbs at 5-6" if I remember correctly.

wii, yeah I hear you...that wouldn't be too smart.

[kat727]

Do you have the same name on the alt?

[newmama]

yes he does, Kat! DBromeo

[kat727]

Why can't I find him?

[newmama]

did you search "Romeo?" You won't be disappointed!