"i don't know what it will take for me to not be afraid."
Stop being afraid. It is a choice. And to be honest.. what you are afraid of is what you are already living. He is gone. You are living your own life. You are making your own way. The reason you keep falling back into the anger trap.. is because you think you were forced into it.
You can't do anything to push him further away than he is right now. Understand that.
This idea ties in with why I have been on you to form up a statement. I wanted it to describe your thought about all this in a non-fingerpointing way. The stage you are at.. a email is not gonna cut it.. a letter is not going to cut it. It will have to be something that you can stand in front of him and deliver with "No Emotion". You don't need to understand why he left. You don't need to know what he plans to do down the road.
You need to define your thoughts as to why you think this is a poor decision on his part. Does not matter if he ever responds to it either.
It is my opinion that you do not do anything to move the D forward. Let him do it. I mean if you want to be done.. then fine. Do it.
Running short on time again.. I will be back.
Relax Eat Think Act normal React.. Smartly. Do something different. Emulate. Do Work.
