WAW Wants to Be Alone

[koliver0821]

Good. I really don't want to find out by "checking" on her.

Personally, I'd rather her trust me again and TELL me that she is having an affair anyway.

Naive. That NEVER happens.

Never.

Puppy

Puppy. I agree with most of what you say. Just not on this. I am speaking from the heart. My wife did come clean. Maybe not on all the details but my personal boundary was crossed. However, it came at the point where I didnt care one way or other if she had an affair. (Not trying to sound callous)It didnt matter because if she did have an affair, If I "Wanted" the marriage to work, I HAD a decision to make. It wasn't her decision anymore.

I was also at complete peace with myself (well terrified on the inside but it was fairly well buried). She asked how I could manage to be energetic and happy. I told her why. NO EXPECTATIONS anymore.

I also learned to love unconditionally. Man that was a revelation. ITs amazing how I felt. How in tuned with the world. Once I felt this, I was adamant about going to church. Finally got my wife to go with our family. The sermon was the Letter to the Corinthians. One of our wedding readings. Heck my wife even asked if I planned it.


However, all these good things happened for one reason. I made changes. I was very much like you. With the sole exception of drinking. I was easily irritated, angered, etc. I was blaming my wife for me feeling that way. As you know. WRONG ANSWER. It was my fault I was feeling that way. I needed to change it for me.