Have you ever met an alcoholic that was not abusive/neglectful of their family.
Actually my father. My father was never neglectful of the family and not abusive. He was a completely functional alcoholic. When he drank- he typically just fell asleep..or he would be more talkative..but not abusive....not saying that he wouldn't yell occasionally My father has always been a man of very few words.
My father has MANY unresolved issues. His first M ended when he was 21. He had 4 other children. His wife ran off to California with the children and virtually disappeared. She got caught up in drugs- she never revealed any information about my father..and all of the children grew up in foster homes. (yes this is getting Jerry Springer-ish...no this is Jerry Springer-ish). We always knew my father had "another" family- but my father never heard from any of them until about 10 years ago..when a letter arrived in the mail from one of his daughters. Her mother (my father's XW) finally revealed who my father was and my father met all of them.
Anyway- my father's "other" family never impacted me and my siblings...but heavily weighed on my father.
With all this being said- watching your father drinking away his problems is tough in itself. It was never abusive..but it wasn't the healthiest thing to see. It was actually quite depressing for the obvious.
Coincidentally- I did date a drinker in college..which I ended. Taking your boyfriend to AA meetings at 20 years old after he got hit by a train...was not what I wanted from life.
God...writing this post is really making me look like a SEVERELY dented can. ; ) I am pretty well adjusted for having had a pretty interesting life so far..at least I think so.
My next two serious relationship- the boyfriend before my H and my H...were both the same age..to the exact day...drove the same car..and they both lost their fathers at a young age. Now I don't know what any of that means. I probably need to dig into that a bit more. I actually haven't brought this up in IC yet.
What do you mean by this?
Quote:
But they love you like a brother or cousin. The intimate love stuff is gone. When they get through this, they figure it out. Then things are left for both to grow and love even more again.
