Wife wants best of both worlds

[ClingingToHope]

My current relationship with the ex is probably worse than good. I do not like talking to her or being around her. She views this as me being mean...our persepctives are so different. I am still broken over the break-up of a family, while she is starting a new one. I am doing everything I can to be civil but it is still so dam hard being around her or even communicating with her via email.

I know what you mean. I've done my best to reduce STBXW to an occasional text. Several months ago she was still calling, mostly about the kids, but she'd slip in conversation on her family and job. That has completely stopped and for the most part I like it -- but just typing that and realizing that remains difficult. I'm reading a forgiveness book to help me down the path of not hating her. I won't be able to avoid her totally because of the girls and shunning her may make me feel better in the moment, but it won't help the girls.

The OM is tough, really tough. My mother went through a string of men after her divorce and I don't know what/how he handled it. They are both dead so I can only speculate.

Two weekends ago I needed a swimsuit from "the house" as I call it and did not call to say I was coming because I thought STBXW would be at work.

She wasn't. Instead, she was working on the house with an OM. I don't know what her relationship is with this guy -- but the girls saw him and she had to come up with a ridiculous story to deflect them.

That's going to be a tough shoe when it drops.