I woudl stay in FT to set an example for him... He will take a sign of you ending FT to be you giving up on changing the marriage for hte better... YOU going to FT gives HIM HOPE and CONFIDENCE
If its expensive, cut back the appointments but ekep lots of books and articles around so he can SEE yo are working on the marriage still... you don't need to se a FT seven days a week, he just needs to see you are putting in the effort
I woudl stay in FT to set an example for him... He will take a sign of you ending FT to be you giving up on changing the marriage for hte better... YOU going to FT gives HIM HOPE and CONFIDENCE
If its expensive, cut back the appointments but ekep lots of books and articles around so he can SEE yo are working on the marriage still... you don't need to se a FT seven days a week, he just needs to see you are putting in the effort
Very good point!
So am I supposed to be "being nice" to him or not?! I am unsure... I sent him a brief text awhile ago and he didn't even respond. (He usually does.) Sure - it could be for a number of reasons - but it's odd for him. It wasn't about anything important - just a sports fact that we'd both normally be interested in. hmmm...
Got it. That makes sense. I would say he's doing 25% right now... I'm not exactly sure how to apply this: I cook 30% of his dinner? LOL. (jk of course) but get the point.
I've gone to 4 counseling sessions so far, but yes, it is expensive, esp. with no insurance to cover it. Cutting back is a good compromise. He knows I'm doing homework because I just did this huge budget sheet and emailed him for input - to show my fiscal responsibility.
He may very well have cut back on FT himself because its expensive... You could ask him you know.. he may be willing to read or watch a video...
I have a great one from MWD
It's possible but knowing him, he would've just told me if money were the reason. I certainly can ask him but I wasn't sure if I was to initiate that conversation. I know it will lead to a bigger conversation. If his head still isn't in the right place then perhaps that's not a good thing. ???
You can just ask him a simple question and CUT the convo short.. just GET OUT of there :
I do find the family therapy useful, but it can get expensive, so I asked the FT and she's suggested I do readings from home and meet once a month instead... Would that be ok with you if I cut back to once a month and just work on this from home to save us a little money?
No guy is going to say NO to that... It's a money question, its yes or no, and he doens't have to talk about how he FEELS... Its a guys favourite kinda question
slam dunk he will say no problem...
after he says its ok you get OUT of there... even IF he wants to talk about it... You hve made it clear that its important, that it can be done from HOME with readings, and hat you will be continuing ...
