Well, we had a very honest conversation last night about the OW. Basically what it boils down to is that I had told him he could NOT stay in the house if he was having an affair. His lawyer told him he could not leave until we had some of the legal stuff done. So he at least had the decency to tell the OW that they needed to have no contact other than essential work contact - FOR NOW. I asked how long that was going to last. He said basically when her husband moves out (he bought a house and will be out in a few weeks) and when my H and I are no longer living together they will start things back up again - "slowly this time."
So I am glad he was honest with me. Because now I know where I stand. I think it will be much, much easier to drop the rope now. I will try very hard to return to being my perky, happy self knowing that his life is going to be miserable with or without her.
I'm going to continue to make progress forward to get us into separate houses and I'm not going to care if we are ever in the same house again. And I'm going to stop thinking about reconciliation until he comes back to me, asking for another chance. And I'm not going to expect or hope for that to happen anymore. If it does, great, but it won't.
I'm finally ready to detach fully. I've invested so much time and energy into trying to do everything just right to get him back and I'm just exhausted from trying. Ready to focus on me and my kids and just let him be a little mosquito buzzing in the background that I'd love to smack dead but don't want to spend too much time or trouble on.
