Another story of a WH and an LBS

[newmama]

Gatsby, I am so sorry to hear about the way your H is acting so immature and selfish!

[quote]Hi,

I feel that something needs to be said for communication's sake. This is my take on it.

Me: I want us to try to work on a relationship at some point in the future. No rush, no instant living together, nothing like that. But a chance at relationship restoration.

You: You said that you want us to be friends only. It seems like you want to drop in on the baby and me at times to hang out.

Nothing much has changed since January. You're saying the same thing, and so am I. I won't be friends with you. We're either civilly co-parenting the baby or trying to make "us" work. And to me, civil co-parenting does not involve friendship.

So, to further the co-parenting idea, I want to make sure this is all very clear. These visitation times would work for me. Are they fine with you?
Visitation times:

Sunday 2-6
Tuesday 8-9:30ish
Thursday 8-9:30ish


You know I love you, and I know you love me. I hope that we can use that to work this out.

See you on Thursday. (My mom may be there, just to let you know.)[/quote]

What about this? I agree that it shouldn't sound too controlling, and not so much talk about him being selfish and working on your M BUT you are allowed to establish boundaries. And I am thinking that communicating a little about the status of the relationship every now and then is actually helpful for you.

In my case, I NEVER inquired or brought it up....well it would have let me know that he was moving in with her in my town, that he was filing for D...you know? Also, I could have been able to see "what was working" with my strategies by checking the temp every couple months or so...without even pressuring him for an answer!

Hope this isn't too confusing. And I started typing this post 2 hours ago but got interrupted.