When you say using me which she is do you think she really knows that she is using me or just unconsciencely doing it with the thought that we are going to get back together someday anyhow. Because I really believe that she thinks that but I might be being stupid again. Like her telling me she is not going to change her drivers licence.
Doesn't matter. At. All. She's using you, doesn't matter if it's on purpose- the only thing that matters is whether YOU let her, or whether you cut her off and prioritize yourself and your daughter now. You do not care what she does anymore- you work towards that, and that's known around here as "detaching". It is one of your major goals right now.
Not sure what you meant by "being stupid", but at some level, she knows you are always going to rush to her aid. Heck, she's even married another guy and you're still saving her and helping her. Think about that and how unhealthy it seems (nevermind that she's an addict and you guys are co-dependent. Even if she weren't re-married, we'd give you the same advice). If that's "stupid" then yes, she knows you are doing it.
Originally Posted By: par4me
I would not mess with a married women this just seems different when she is calling crying saying she made a mistake. I guess if she did she can get herself out of it. I can't defend her as much as I want to in any way that makes since.
You ARE messing with a married woman. Every time you interact in any way with her. If she had never been your wife, would you dare step into someone's marriage like you're doing? Would you even feel obligated to give money, take crazy calls, etc? If your best friend were doing what you're doing, what would you tell him is wrong with this picture?
2nd bold- you answered your own question. Your thread reads a little like a mystery- all of the answers to solve the puzzle are buried in here, most in your very own posts!
In your relationship with her now, there is no place for words like defend, protect, help, save, keep from falling down, rescue, etc. It is not the definition of your R anymore. Think of her as an acquaintance or almost stranger. Someone you'd interact with like the cashier. Would you keep going to their line if they acted crazy? If they pestered you and asked you for money, etc. would you help them? No, you wouldn't. She's still the mother of your child, so if something concerns your D, she will still be involved. Short of that, you should not be doing or talking to her about anything right now.
