I've started reading Deepak Chopra's book on "The Third Jesus." I need to keep reading religion books to counter anger, resentment, mistrust, doubt, and fear. I'm reading about the teaching of not resisting evil. My going to the dance club over the weekend when I knew the OP would be there is an example of this.

My issues and patterns reveal themselves in dance practice and lessons. The teacher (a confident young man of 27, with a great-looking girlfriend) is honest with me about how passive and small my dancing looks. I'm great with technique, but need to improve with body styling and expressiveness. This is where I need to stretch and grow.

During the lesson, he comes up to me and sculpts my body in the way it needs to be to reflect the mood of the dance and music. I've never held my body in such a manner, and it feels great, though awkward. When I practice it with my W at home, it feels awkward yet liberating. The teacher said that my W and I have a good work ethic, so he seems motivated to work with us.

I think about why in the past I didn't enforce boundaries with my W. I think it's because that I felt that I needed to make significant improvements as a H and person, and wanted to see if that would make a difference. I'm at the point where I feel like I'm invested enough as a H, confident enough as a man to be on my own if needed, and that other than physical intimacy as a problem to address, my W has a good H and M. This is the year where I believe that I deserve better than what I've had.

CL

Last edited by Concerned_Listener; 07/13/10 04:32 PM.
CL 53 W 54
M 20 yrs.
03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL
10-14' Piecing

"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."

----Tao Te Ching