During our time out and about, I did not engage in any R talk. There were few times where I did place hand on W's leg while driving, place hand on small of her back while standing in store and hold her hand while walking. W did not reject any.
Good job.. Remember.. Don't ASK.. Just do...
Just keep it simple.. Those things are fine if she isn't rejecting you. Just play it by ear.. Good job in holding her hand while walking...
I think you did great... The only thing I would caution you about is the relationship book and the counseling.. Don't be so caught up in healing this relationship that you PUSH her on those issues.. YOU just keep doing what you are doing now. If you push this counseling and relationship book issue too fast and too far, it could backfire...
You aleady forgot what I warned you about a couple of days ago didn't you ?
Stop this obsessive worrying and live in the moment and be a HAPPY man.. Just be silent and let your actions do the talking. Quiet confidence. Back off on the counseling and books. What difference does it make whether you go to counseling or read a book together if you are moving forward without it? NONE ... Sometiems too much counseling and trying to work on the relatonship backfires. It brings up the past. Just live in the moment. Let HER bring up the counseling and stuff when she is ready. If she doesn't WHO CARES as long as the relationship is moving ahead.. And YOUR'S IS MOVING FORWARD NICELY.. Enjoy it and enjoy planning the vacation together and then go have a great vacation with her.
All in all, you are NOW on the right track. Just keep plugging forward. Please try to be happy and enjoy it.
It is alot of time I am asking you for but I have read some of your posts and respect what you say. I wished you would quote on my stuff alittle more. I don't know, I just wished that you would help me a little
Par,
I would love to help you. However, you told us on your thread HOW you wanted us to post to you. I believe you told us what you didn't want to hear. I am not the type to let the one asking for advice tell me how or what advice to give them. That is like letting the patient tell the Doctor how to heal him and to tell the Doctor what medicine to prescribe and if the Doctor doesn't agree with what the patient has told the Doctor to do, then the Doctor must shut up...
Do you understand my position? I would be glad to help you, but I may not tell you what you want to hear, but what you need to hear and what you need to do to give you the best possible chance to reconcile. I may even tell you things that would sound to you like I am telling you that it will never work and to just give up. That is not what I am on here for. If I tell you to act like you are giving up, it is actually because it is your best chance to get her back. Understand that?
If you still want my advice then let me know. I just wanted to clarify my own stance.
Do use your dog as a common interest and DO use the dog as a way to communicate and to have something to talk about....
DON'T keep hinting and pushing counseling and such....(that is too feminine and isn't attractive and will come across subconsciously to her as weak)
DO let her lead on that issue. If she chooses not to bring it up, then so be it. You are in great shape because of what you have learned the past few months.
DON'T snoop anymore... In your case snooping now would backfire in a big way. I wouldn't chance it at this point. Remember, she may still feel that you always watch over her and snoop. Surprise her and surprise yourself.
Do use your dog as a common interest and DO use the dog as a way to communicate and to have something to talk about....
Chestnut Ridge Park.
If you drive past the enterance and continue down Rt 277, quickly after the bend there is a road on your right.
Turn down Seufert road; drive no more than a football field. Park on the road. There use to be a chained off enterance, and a hiking trail leading off from it. It will lead to Eternal Flame Falls. Its not hard to find. The trail should lead right to it. If its not lit, you can smell the gas and find the natural gas leak and light it without blowing yourself and your woman up.
Its a shady area not really picnicy, but if you let your dog run down stream abit, there's a hill thats been cleared for a gas line or power line, I can't remember, but you can hike up it and get back into the more secluded part of the park.
Don't forget the stuffed pepper pizza on the way back home. LOL.
Do use your dog as a common interest and DO use the dog as a way to communicate and to have something to talk about....
Chestnut Ridge Park.
If you drive past the enterance and continue down Rt 277, quickly after the bend there is a road on your right.
Turn down Seufert road; drive no more than a football field. Park on the road. There use to be a chained off enterance, and a hiking trail leading off from it. It will lead to Eternal Flame Falls. Its not hard to find. The trail should lead right to it. If its not lit, you can smell the gas and find the natural gas leak and light it without blowing yourself and your woman up.
Its a shady area not really picnicy, but if you let your dog run down stream abit, there's a hill thats been cleared for a gas line or power line, I can't remember, but you can hike up it and get back into the more secluded part of the park.
Don't forget the stuffed pepper pizza on the way back home. LOL.
Good luck.
lol, nice. You from this area?
M: 27, W: 25 Together since: 01/31/00 M: 10/4/09 (8 Months) ILBNILWY: 01/24/10 EA confirmed: 02/10/10 (Busted). Road to Reconcile began: 07/10/10 Retrouvaille: 09/10/10
Returned home from very long night of work, very tired. W had off work so she was home and she was sleeping. I laid in bed W really paid me no attention when I go home so I just dozed off and went to sleep myself. I woke up later in the afternoon.
W was watching TV then started to tell me all that she did the night before. I engaged W in the conversation to show her I was listening and interested. I then told W how work went (she did not ask).
I was explaining to W how I heard a review about a movie and I would like to see it. W said she remembering seeing the trailer for the same movie and thought it was good herself. W said she wanted to see it and suggested we rent it.
W and I agreed not to sit around the house. I had to make run to the tax place, I been putting it off. W said "I'll get ready when you leave and when you come back we'll leave" I agreed with W that it "sounds like a plan" W said "be careful" before I left.
I returned and W was ready to go and so we went. W wanted to stop by the mall to pick up a few thing she has been meaning to get. W and I held hands during our walk in the mall.
At one point we stopped in a novelty T Shirt store. In there W spotted a infant size shirt that read "I 'heart' Polish" (I am polish BTW). W had such a big smile on her face when she seen it. W asked "Should I get it?" I was caught of guard by that and was unsure how to respond so I said "That is up to you" with a smile on my face. W said "Well who knows if they will still have it here when we have kids" Once again did not expect to hear that...W decided to get it. We continued to walk around the mall and eventually left.
We make it back home W started to unpack what she had purchased and pulled out the shirt and was smiling...so I decided to ask "What made you buy the shirt" and W replied "You know I want to have children" in a humbling voice. I then replied "Yes I do know that and I do as well" W then said "I know we need to work on our marriage first before we get to that point. W and I were in agreement that we would work on our marriage and develop a strong, healthy loving marriage so we do not ever end up like we were in the past and to the point we had come to in the past 7 months.
Following that W and I watch a little TV, W rest her head on me and at another point we held hands watching TV. Then W started to play with our dog and got me involved.
There came a point were W seemed a little annoyed and upset but by what I am not sure. Shortly after a friend asked if I wanted to come hang out for a little bit. Thinking to myself "I am happy that we are making progress but I don't want to smother W and I still want to GAL and allow W to miss me sometimes" so I decided to hang out.
I let W know and she got upset but she would not say why, I decided to still go. I returned home and W was in bed sleeping, W woke up as I walked in the room and asked if I could grab her something from downstairs and so I did...W then went to bed.
M: 27, W: 25 Together since: 01/31/00 M: 10/4/09 (8 Months) ILBNILWY: 01/24/10 EA confirmed: 02/10/10 (Busted). Road to Reconcile began: 07/10/10 Retrouvaille: 09/10/10
I have a question for WAW and those who have reconciled.
Is it normal for WAS to still be withdrawn (maybe not the word I am looking for) even after the WAS agrees to work on the marriage?
What I mean is, for example, over the past week I have initiated contact with W here and there, hugs, holding hands, and some touching. All of which has not been rejected (W has yet to initiate any contact). Just yesterday W and I hugged before she left for work and she kissed me on my cheek but this morning it felt like W did not want to hug at all and she gave me what I would call a pity hug and that was it. It is normal for WAS who have agree to work on the marriage to do these sort of things?
Also how long did it take or do you project it will take for W to start meeting emotional needs? When do you think it is OK to talk to W about my emotional needs, or at all?
I am doing my best to live in the moment. I have held back on many things so I do not pressure/pursue W. I don't want to blow this opportunity by expecting too much too soon and want to get insight from those who have come this far....
M: 27, W: 25 Together since: 01/31/00 M: 10/4/09 (8 Months) ILBNILWY: 01/24/10 EA confirmed: 02/10/10 (Busted). Road to Reconcile began: 07/10/10 Retrouvaille: 09/10/10
Most of your problems could be put behind you with around 30 days of sex every night. You'd clear the physical and emotional bond problems, and YOU would be the last thing on her mind - not OM.
