You have a right to change your mind about custody arrangements if what you have is not working for you! (Unless a judge declared it has to be this way...)
Back to the email: was she trying to say she was in love with someone else? Don't know. Does it really matter? I mean, it's more that she is justifying her actions and rationalizing her feelings... and romanticizing getting out of her obligations to her family.
And the last part - needing you as a friend, etc... she was trying to get you to validate her being irresponsible, basically: to lessen her guilt by getting you on board with her actions. That's how I take it.
Lastly, things might have been calmer then and that's why you wish things were back to that state of mind, CD. However, calmer does not mean better for you. Calmer might be less stressful, but calmer doesn't necessarily save a marriage!
