Another story of a WH and an LBS

[Piano]

G, okay, to respond to your first post, I think WH is in crisis, is in pain, is being selfish - all of those things all at once. He is, well, lost.
I'm not a fan of the email. Boundary-setting is great, but me thinks you need to find language that is less "controlling" (less telling him how it is) and avoid talking about "working" on the M with your H. I reckon he's not in the mood for 'work' - he wants escape. So maybe avoid that language (even though of course it's what you want!). I am also thinking that since you two DO get along (can listen to music together, watch TV), that you don't need to do the "we can't be friends" speech, especially in writing (so final, ya know?). If he's boring the pants off you with his behaviour, then just don't give him so much of your time...a la Robx.
However, for your own well-being,it's good to set boundaries..Hmm, this is a tough one... Would it work to send a very simple email only about visitation? Such as:

Hi,
I'm finding it hard at the moment to get into the appropriate 'head space' that I need to be in order to parent effectively, so I'm thinking we need to set down a visitation schedule. I was thinking something like this:
Sunday 2-6
Tuesday 8-9:30ish (whenever I return, I guess)
Thursday 8-9:30ish

Would that work for you?
Thanks, see you Thursday ( by the way my mum may be here).
Gatsby.

So, don't tell him you love him (he knows, right?), dont remind him what he's done to you (he already knows this too& I think forcing him to talk about the M right now will drive him into his bunker.), and then, when he comes over, just don't look too interested when he discusses stuff other than the baby unless you feel like it.
That's my take. But Newmama is the ultimate diplomatic emailer if you want another take!