The fact that you are able to look at your sitch the way that you have articulated is a very good thing. Man did it take me a long time to "get it".
In my sitch, my W (who was an absolute DOLL) really never grew up. I say this not to be critical - it is what it is. She was brought up in a very religious household. Her mother attend church daily and the church became the focus for the family. That is for everyone except my W.
As I have looked back on our R, W never really experienced living alone, dating, etc. Now, that is not to say that I am not guilty for all of the mistakes that I made. Shiznit, I made a ton. I just now understand what she is going thru and where she is.
Can I or in your case, you - change it? No - we just need to become the best people we can. Love them from a distance. Let them go about and figure this out.
Will they? You know I have often questioned this. A part of me says that my W may not have the strength or life experiences to do it. Another part of me says that, she had the strength to call it day. So who knows. What I do know and believe with every fiber of my being is this....
I am a better man because of this. Lola you will be too - if you really allow yourself to grow and learn from this.
God Bless, Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
