Yep – cause right now he feels that everyone stunted his growth. It is an easy way out for him cause he does not want to look at himself.
Eric- I think you hit the nail on the head. H was always spoiled rotten. He was the first child..first son in his immediate family..first boy of all the cousins.
I love my MIL to death- she did a great job raising him...she provided so much love and so much care...but she DESTROYED him in some ways. From an early age- he learned that sense of entitlement. His mother used to go thru toasting a loaf of bread before my H decided that the piece was "suitable" to eat....amongst other things to ensure he was happy.
During his teenage years...I guess like most teenagers...H was moody. My MIL said that he had extreme mood swings. He would wake up EXTREMELY nasty..he would be EXTREMELY withdrawn- she wanted to beat the sh*t out of him most of the time. After one of his moods- he would typically hole himself away in his bedroom for hours at a time (depression).
When his father died at 16 from leukemia- my H was in shock. His mother kept the seriousness of the situation from him and his sister. She shielded the kids from the details. (good mom I think). After his death- my MIL never grieved in front of the kids- she just wanted to move on...so she did. She sold the house..sold all the furniture and bought new furniture..got rid of all pictures...and told my H- "you are not the man of the house".
His mother encouraged him to apply to Ivy League schools- he didn't get accepted to any of them. He followed a friend of his to F&M. Got done with school- took a year off..and then followed the same friend to Villanova Law.
When H got his first "real" law job- he was miserable. He was never a man that liked committing his life to work- a 9 to 5/6/7/8 o'clock job never suited him. As his career progressed- more and more was expected from him. He was never happy..I don't recall a time that he was really happy doing what he was doing. I think he was always proud to say he was an attorney- but he never enjoyed the work or commitment.
The reasons why I am mentioning all of this is because during our S and when H seemed CRAAAAZY...he told his mother "I never made a decision in my life"....and then told her "you need to accept everything that I do going forward".
My IC told me before this even happened- she thought H behavior was aimed at his mother.
..and besides the genetics (grandmother bipolar/father was extremely moody/mother antidepressants for years)- I don't think he ever learned how to be a man. He seemed like he did in certain situations...but I think it was an act- he knew how he was supposed to be acting..but never really felt it. If this makes any sense.
His A started right when he made partner. Right after we discussed starting a family. Although I think the seeds were planted quite some time before this.
