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shasha Offline OP
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Well Allen A...He said that we would TALK???!!! When men say we will TALK, doesn't that usually mean we WON'T???!!!


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Nope... It might mean we will it might mean no... YOu ahve made your position clear.. you need to give him time to think a bit... if you chase him he's just going to run away

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"We will talk" is man talk for :


I am not comfortable tapping into my emotions right now... I may try later when I am more up to it... don't pressure me or I won't like it very much.. I want to do this at my pace

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It means...Be there for him when HE wants to talk but don't dare try talking on your own accord!

LOL

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You got it lol

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It means
"I am in charge and I'll do the talkin around here"

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So unfair...but gotta play within the rules at hand.

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shasha Offline OP
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Sunny D and Allen A!!! Although I hate to admit it, I know you guys are right and it is evident based on our last interaction with each other.

Since my last posting, I took it upon myself to initiate a lunch date and he agreed. For the first time in a very long time he was actually responsive to me when I called and texted. He actually called me back and was in a cheerful mood. Maybe he was still on an upslope from the fourth of July. Who knows smile

Anyhow we met up and had a great conversation and a few laughs! I asked him, "What would it take for us to be friends again?" He replied, "Be NICE and PATIENT." If only he knew...Any woman that can put up with him for 7 years is more than patient...

I asked him if we could have a play date once a week, nothing major but just some time we could spend together. He agreed!!!

However, he has NOT reached out to me since last Monday. I texted and called Saturday, Sunday, and today with no luck!!!!


I GET IT NOW!!!!! I will back off and allow him time and space needed. I was just hoping since our divorce court date is set for 8/12 we would be able to at least bond and start to spend quality time together. Moving forward I understand and realize that I MUST be patient and allow him time to process all this.

When I tried holding his hand, he said....Lets take baby steps....SO for the first time in a long time I don't have total control and if I want this marriage to work I MUST continue to work on myself and understand his needs.


When our lunch date ended, he sat in my car for an hour and dozed off to sleep and I scratched his head like I did when we first met. It brought back a lot memories of how we used to be so maybe I'm too anxious and could stand to practice being calm.

As always thanks for your support and blunt responses. I'm a little slow to learn but after hitting my head against the wall with zero results I realize what it will take on my part for us to reconcile. Constantly calling, texting, and emailing is NOT the answer...! I GET IT NOW, I PROMISE.

I must say that I'm so happy at the progress thus far. There was once upon a time where he would NOT speak to me, return my calls, let alone meet with me so I now have some hope.

One thing he did say that I took careful NOTE of during our lunch was that, he was NOT sure if I was being genuine in the past OR if I had an angle??? He says that's the reason he reacted to me with inconsistencies and doubts. I know now that if I want this marriage that I must be honest and willing to do the work with no strings attached!

Last edited by shasha; 07/13/10 10:15 AM.

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Keep up the fight Sasha... You have o give him SPACE while making sure he knows YOU are committed and haven't given up on him...

It's painful to keep a commitment to someone who hates your guts, but its do-able.. and it does turn them around eventually if you keep at it

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And you can't TELL him you don't have an angle, you have to SHOW him you are sincere by doing whatever it takes to earn his trust again.

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