I know you are damaged and your heart is pounding so fast you can't stand it. What do you tell a person that just found out their spouse, their mate is cheating on them. It is a sickening feeling, I feel bad for you because I know that feeling. I know what it feels like to have some one that you trusted betray you. Usually your spouse is one of the few people that you truely trust and it is a lonesome feeling to be betrayed by the one person you believed in. All I can say is that I am living the same thing you are in a different part of the world. Only you can make yourself sick about it. You can control your emotions, only you can let it bother you. Doesn't help does it. Didn't help me either. But those words are true. Don't start blaming yourself for what somebody else choose to do. Try to keep your spirits up somehow someway. Read and write and these boards. It helps me greatly. My story is insane. It is insane that I still care for my ex. Jealousy is one of the worst feelings in the world. The grass is almost never greener on the other side. Your story is not over. It is just beginning. Try to be patient and see how it plays out. Don't hate. That is another emotional mind killer that just won't you function. I know you can't do the things I am asking because I live in the same world. But I know those two emotions are just killers-it messes up your sleep, you eating, your life. But mine and your lives are not over-in fact one day maybe they will both be better. Heck, I am up at 4am. That is not normal for me. I am sorry for you. If I could I wished I was the only one on these boards. That I was the only one of us that had to live with this pain. At least it would just be one of us instead of a ton of people. It almost makes a person never want to love again. You don't get to experience the joy of love but you never have to hurt again. I am not being very comforting, sorry, but just know that you are not alone. There are others in the world that are totally blown away by the actions of someone they trusted. I just don't understand how and why people do this to each other. I really don't think that I could or would hurt someone like this on purpose with no care, no consideration for their feeling, totally selfish. But, I am sorry that you are having to live this nightmare. Please be good to yourself and I will check your posts tomorrow. I want you to be better and let this only have a small effect on your life instead of devestating your world.
