Help - Is H coming Around?

[ShellDoll]

I have been reading posts in both Newcomers and the MLC forums. I am so confused about the approaches (and the major differences) the two forums take in regards to our WAS's.

I posted in Newcomers because after calling and speaking to the folks at DB, they recommended I sign-up for the forums and indicated that it was the place for more general dicussions. Initially, I thought my H was experiencing a mid-life crisis because of the actions leading up to him leaving the home.

However, reading the posts under newcomers, the general approach is towards:

1) If there is an affair, expose/bust it (let spouses suffer the consequences)
2) Agree with them and tell that you they are right (not much different in MLC)
3) There has bee some recommendations for the LBS to file for D (as see what happens)
4) Tendency to not believe that the WAS is confused or experiencing a crisis that can explain their strange/unknown behavior
5) SAME for Both: GAL, NC, and DARK

In MLC, the approach tends to be:
1) If there is an affair, do nothing, ignore it. Exposing it only makes it worse
2) Agree with them and tell that you they are right (not much different in Newcomers)
3) If the WAS wants D, let them work for and do all the work to make it happen if that is what they want.. the LBS should not help in any way
4) Tendency to believe that the WAS is confused or experiencing a crisis that can explain their strange/unknown behavior
5) SAME for Both: GAL, NC, and DARK

I am still trying to figure out where my H and I possibly fall. I say "H and I" because not sure if I believe that is just about the WAS and issues that they have to deal with. It is about both of us and in some cases, I believe we need to work together and apart for the the good of ourselves and God willing, the good of the marriage. Thoughts?