Well, I'm not the best person to ask because I struggle with it as well. I can just offer up what I said to him: find ways to show your "new" self without directing all that goodness right at her. You are right to be firm, given the circumstances! Doesn't mean you need to be angry or lash out - that's just seen as manipulation - but you can't be mr. nice guy who lets himself get run over while his wife is cheating on him either! It's OK if she gets mad because you are holding her accountable for the A! Allen may have better advice but if you read my answers to CD, that's the best I've got. For now!
