Just found out she already filed

[flowmom]

Romeo, it sounds like you're on the right track with your thinking on this. And I wasn't intending a 2x4, just expressing some concern. I was a sensitive girl so I know from my own experience that the weight of being expected to "understand" and "be nice" didn't leave much space for being allowed to have my feelings and express them. So that's where I'm coming from. But I know that you often express empathy and allow your D to have her feelings so I know that your D is in a very different situation than I was.

Just brainstorming here, but I guess my suggestion would be to tackle things one by one, e.g.

- not wanting to camp with you "so you really don't want to camp with me" -- active listen and let her express how much she doesn't want to camp with you. Then say something like "I love camping with you and I remember the fun we've had before. I'm the dad so I make the plans, but is there anything I can do to make it more fun for you?", then involve her as much as possible in menu planning, etc.

- wanting to camp with her mother - "you really want to camp with your mother" -- again active listen. Then help her to find a way to express that. If she is declining phone calls, perhaps try other things like "let's write a letter to mom to tell her how much you'd like to go camping with her...you can draw a picture of you and mom in the tent".

Again, I'm not saying you did it wrong and the above are just ideas.

That's awesome that you read "how to talk...", it's a classic. The coparenting book that I am recommending is really great too and really does help navigate the tricky part of providing emotional support to our children.