Only believe what he does n not what he says. I hate that quote because I hope it is not true. People mess up. You sound like a nice person. I do like "stand your ground" although people are different. When my ex used to tell me that I was destroying her heart because of the things I was doing or saying it would make me feel so guilty. I might not be that nice at the time but I would come around quickly. But that was just me, and I loved her. The thinking that the book says is to leave him alone, make him miss you. Maybe that is what he needs. OW, yes that hurts but it doesn't mean that he doesn't love you. He may or may not. It usually is an ego builder. I went out with other women. Not one was as pretty as my ex. I was trying to get over her and all they did was make me think about her. Why am I saying this-because if there is OW is doesn't mean he does not love you. It may or may not. It really doesn't mean anything about his feeling towards you. Means he is a coward for not fixing his marriage, best thing you could do is not contact him. Let him think about his feelings, let him decide, you want someone that wants you, cares about you don't you? That has to be his decision and you really can't influnence that choice right now. It is is choice. I know it stinks, patience is hard to have. It would be so much easier to call. Nothing good can come of this. He will lie and that will damage things later. Let the guy pick what he wants. I am sure you have read the set him free posts. I am trying with all my heart to do this but I have been weak and it has set things back. I hope you are stronger. I will pray for you and your marriage. I am not a coach so you have to decide what to do. I wrote this so that you can read a semi long post and you that should take your fingers off the phone. There is nothing that you can do by texting or calling that is going to fix anything today. I am sorry that you are in crisis mode. I am sorry that you have to go through this. I know that it sucks. People are here at this very site for you. Try not to worry about OW. Being jealous is natural but not productive. Sorry, I wished I could tell you exactly what to do to get this guy to come around. I would do just about anything to make my ex come around. But that is the wrong part-I can't do or say anything that will help-it is their choice, their decision and their heart that has to be affected and there is nothing that you can do other than work on your own self to be a better person and keep your sanity. Only you can controll the last too things, they are only things that you can do. Best of Luck. I hope this man comes around and saves his marriage. All is not lost because of another women. There is no history between them. It is an ego building thing for him more than likely. Don't let it eat away on you. Easier said than done. Best of Luck again and I am sorry that you are having to go through this. Jeff
