To add (before posting the email) I know it's hard to show the 180 and try to be the warm guy when you're also supposed to detach and by mysterious! I've found ways to pull it off, but it isn't always easy to know what to do in terms of specifics. (One of H's complaints against me was that even though I was not a nag, I snapped at him and the kids too much and did not show a lot of patience - that I was depressing to be around or complained too much.)
I've just found ways to be happy go lucky without necessarily being so directly to him - just as Allen has suggested. I laugh with the kids a lot and am affectionate, and bring them drinks or offer to do things for them... laugh on the phone or just smile - hum, sing in the shower, stuff like that. When I do talk to him I act carefree but I'm not doting over him. I signed up for classes and post on FB about how excited I am to be doing new things... The thing is, I'm not just faking it either. I really DO feel happier and more like being this way, so it comes across (hopefully) as genuine and not an act.
