putting my big girl panties on

[flowmom]

Reality set it today and I realized that I can't afford to get involved with a man. I think I would be OK emotionally, but realistically it would be a bad choice to draw my focus away from my responsibilities as a parent:

* figuring how how to help S with his special needs
* figuring out what D needs right now
* figuring out how to keep the children's home
* figuring out how to support myself financially

I also need to get this divorce crap over with first. It's going to be more work and not exactly pleasant. I hope that we can get the legal separation sorted out as soon as possible.

Summer is here and I want to fully enjoy it, including fun and flirtation. But it's time to be a grownup. Male "companionship and more" is going on the back burner.

I'm really feeling "out at sea" lately...drifting somewhere between an old life and a new life. Things don't fit properly, not just my old clothes.