I tried, I changed, but still am getting divorced!

[newmama]

OK am feeling upset and cried...

so my tire was flat. I knew stbxh was coming over to pick up S and would be working on the list of to do items I gave him (hey- it's the LEAST he can do) so I texted him to ask if he could please show me how to change the tire.

(HEY- at least I asked him to help me, not do it for me!)

well he replied that he would be able to take it into the tire shop nearby to get it patched. (Guess you don't change a tire for every flat? Duh for me)

So I told him that I would do that once he picked up S and thanked him for explaining it to me.

He arrived, took care of the list, got some grease on his pants (haha! Won't OW ask "why do you have grease on your pants?" and he will have to tell her he was helping me! Who needs lipstick?)

So he put some air in my tire so that I could drive it to the place, then he proceeded to suggest I go to this one tire center closest to our house. I saw that it closed by 6 so as soon as he was done, and packed S in the carseat, I took off. (I didn't feel right leaving him alone at the house)
Before he left he said "let me know if you need help with the tire, ok?"

So I am driving along, and I saw his car but didn't know if he saw me or not, since he didn't wave and I was not about to wave to him!
I saw him up ahead, moving into the left turn lane. I thought to myself "why is he taking this way home? Doesn't he live further east?"

So I try to find the tire center in rush hour traffic and fail. I am headed to the other tire center. I think to myself "this sucks. I have 25 minutes to make it to the other place before it closes. It's rush hour- am I going to make it? Can I wait until tomorrow?"

(by the way I have to get this tire repaired before Wed a.m. because I am driving down south to get his pics taken)

So...after much hesitation, I call stbxh to ask him if he thought I would be able to wait until tomorrow, or would the tire leak overnight. He said "didn't you see me show you where to turn?" WELL I FELT SOOOOOOOO STUPID!!!!!

1) he took a different way home, anticipating that I would need help finding the place (he was right- I had my GPS but it didn't show up on it)

2) he was not really turning left, he was showing me!

3) he could have called me to tell me he was helping me!

4)how dare he know I was going to get lost?????grrrr!

So I said "oh, er, uh...well I will try to go back and find it. and he tried to explain where it was, I was stumped and he FINALLY said "you know, by the place where we got those steaks?"

BINGO. I knew instantly. Why the f didn't he just tell me that to begin with?

But I try to find it, miss the turn, see that traffic sucks super galore, realize I could just go tomorrow and bring a stroller to take S for a walk while they fix it.

I look down and see a text from him that says "let me know when you find the place."

When I got home I texted him "I am waiting until tomorrow. The place was closing in 15 minutes. I didn't realize you were trying to show me how to get there. Thanks for trying!"

But the messed up thing is that I was bawling! I felt so embarrassed that I couldn't find the damn place, and he was right in knowing I would get lost, and I wanted to not need him!
I didn't know that until this happened. I don't want to need his help!!!!If I had family to rely on (I don't---they are a bunch of dysfunctional flaky screw ups) I wouldn't need to ask him.