Still trying to find my way

[Mystik]

Listened to H's voicemail, really wishing I hadn't. He's working on paperwork for the divorce, is going to file constructive abandonment. He said he's willing to be the bad guy, say that he's the one withholding sexual relations but he needs to know if I'm going to sign or not so he can get the paperwork prepared and submitted and signed, over and done with to hopefully move on.

I don't think that he can file with himself as the one withholding sex, I think it has to be me filing against him. But I'll let him find that out for himself.

If he files and serves me now, I'm not signing. I'm not at the point of letting go enough to sign. It really is like twisting the knife in my heart that he's pursuing this. I believe so strongly that we were meant to be together, that he's going to come back. I still get the word patience running through my head when I pray for him to return.