Cathy, I have had these convos too... I think it is either H wanting to feel less guilty about going places and doing things if you are out doing things, or H wanting to know your whereabouts just because he wants to know, or wanting to know your schedule so he won't be doing things to run into you.
I have decided not to give him information anymore. Of course, if you tell him where you were,that is okay, but as for the future, I'm not telling him. Not being ugly, just not volunteering information.
And I think you were the one that told me stop trying to figure out someone who has no idea what they are doing themselves. Thinking this has some deeper meaning is probably not the case!
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
Could it be the green monster...jealousy? (is that a green monster..hmmm) Anyway, I've had those kind of conversations with my h too and it's usually because they truly WANT to know who you are with, if there is someone else...h is lonely for you.
You got him thinking. Let him think some more by not giving into answering his why questions. Say, oop there's the boss got to go or my other line is ringing got to go!
It's not productive anyway to answer his why's, is it? What did it get you? Next time find a way to end the call...throw him for a loop.
Quote: And I think you were the one that told me stop trying to figure out someone who has no idea what they are doing themselves. Thinking this has some deeper meaning is probably not the case!
Thank you for the 2x4, charmin coated 2x4, you're right. Maybe I should just PRACTICE what I'm going to say from now on...
Thank you holding...well he's been like this since I've know him. The "whys" were there before any of this happened. Okay, I'll let it go over my head, as it is my H's problem, not mine.
And as far as long term plans, I will not share them with H. I'll share them with you all. I decided to put my money someplace else, warm that involves golfing with my friend...that kind of stuff I will not tell him till it's finalized.
You are so right about H. H is lonely for me...? On the other hand maybe he couldn't think of anything else to say and was trying to keep the conversation going or trying to keep me on the line before he got to his real point, that he was stopping over after work and going north hunting.
The thing H didn't ask if H I had anybody over either. I mean yes H wanted to know what I did the last couple of nights, hung at home and then he wanted to know why, but never asked if I had company or visitors. Okay now I'm seeing his logic behind his line of questioning, thinks I'm seeing someone else. He had the "whys" on Sunday when I went to visit a freind of mine, that I generally don't visit becuase she lives on the other side of city from me.....hmmm...H knows how it happened to him and that I had no clue..H told me he was doing this or that, with this friend or that friend, but was really seeing OW. Maybe I am getting this now. Light bulb...
You've all been so good about pointing this out to me, but finally I can see it and I get it..
Quote: I need to keep my mouth shut about plans from now on....and so noted Cathy!
I'm with you on this one!
Quote: Is my H that stupid and blind that he can't believe his son loves him and misses him?!!
My H sorta does this as well. I think it makes it easier for him to think, "dd is ok. she's with her mom and she's happy." kindda takes the pressure off of him. dd practically melts when H comes over and plays with her. the next day, it's all she can talk about.
It's all about them and the kids pay for it one way or another. Hang in there. Your sonj has a wonderful mother and he is a lucky little boy.
Cathy, Lots of advice here, but I'm with PIB, as I told you when I chatted with you ask H a question with your answer. If your H likes questions, give him more of the same back!
