Based on discussions with my attorney, the court wasn't likely to make her find full-time work immediately, since she has been working part-time for 11 years. If we are going to continue to live in the same house, things would remain the same as they have been. She said that full-time would come eventually, but not immediately. Also, since I make so much more $ than W does, the plan would likely to have been to pay based on income percentages. I make 80% of the income, she makes 20% of the income. If she worked full-time, she would make 30% of the income.
Also, we can't "force" each other out of the house. I told my atty we should request that, but she said the court wasn't likely to foce the mother out, and if they did, I would end-up with a very large financial obligation based on W working part-time at the moment. I have asked her to leave voluntarily, but she won't, and I have been advised here and by many others not to leave the house.
I was going to ask W for her suggestion as to how to handle the bills, hoping it would be better for me than income % based, but in the very least I was going to require that we pay based on income percentages.
I would love to split the bills 50%/50%, but I don't think that is realistic or that is what the court would have ordered. Once separated, I am looking at payments for both child support 9 years and alimony/maintenance 5-7 years. I certainly do want her to pay her share and not to have $ to blow on so many events though.
She says she wants to live together until the divorce is final because we can't afford to live separate. If that is so, how will we be able to afford it later? It is becuase she won't get a full-time job now, because she wants this done on her time and in her way. She wants a D, she just does not want the consequences of it right now.
She has told me she plans to get a full time job, but can't do it now because "there are no full-time positions available" in her preferred location/line of work and because she "needs to be there for the kids." I said we both need to be there for the kids. The fact is, she wants her part-time summer with the kids and it doesn't look like the court will force it. I can't find a way to force her to go back to work except to get her to pay more of the bills so she doesn't have fun time $. I continue to look for job postings available to her on the state jobs website. You can bet I will bring it to my atty when I find one.
You are right about saving $ bluestar, but if I save it, she will just get half of it anyway, right? Plus, she continues to spend, but I am not going to stand for this anymore.
I really wish this court date had gone off and we had gotten some legal clarity.
I'll have to think about the kid thing. So I would just go along on whatever events get planned? Like to her brother's house to visit the cousins next weekend? Hmmm......
She wants a D, she just does not want the consequences of it right now. 
