"Yes, I now see it. It isn't going to work. I now realize that you really don't love me. I now realize that you are saying that it just isn't there for you and you just don't feel the feelings you want to feel to be in a romantic relationship. I now realize that you believe that you may have NEVER been in love with me. I don't know what took me so long to understand that. It suddenly hit me that it probably irritates you to no end just to give me a hug. I NOW get it. I agree. It is never going to work when a person feels like that. It wouldn't be fair to either one of us. I am not even sure how I feel anymore about you after all that has happened. From this point on I promise you that I am going to stop trying. I should have realized this a long time ago."
And THEN you do exactly that.
No more figuring out. No more wondering. No more analysis. Total acceptance of the reality the way she sees it.
I'm not being anything other than courteous, no relationship talk whatsoever I'm not the one texting her first...and I also have the last word..how can I go wrong? I'm not taking the bait as everything is okay and expanding our conversation past that...I'm guilty of neglect FULL fledged Neglect....why is it in the best interest to not respond/communicate in this way.
Because, you answered her right away, like you were hanging there, holding your phone, just HOPING she'd send you a text message.
Pursuing. Needy. Not attractive.
Better:
The next morning, write her back "Sorry -- just saw this. Hope you are doing well! -- MCL"
Let's face it, when we're in these sitches, our reasoning is usually FLAWED. That's why we need everyone else to help us with the counter-intuitive stuff.
As a rule of thumb (and I use BBerry Msngr), I always lock my keypad so if a msg comes in, it doesn't open it immediately.
Next, when I open Msngr, I can see who it's from without opening. W? wait 15.
If it's about our daughter, I respond. Otherwise, I close it for another 15 or so. Sometimes I don't at all. The neat part is that BBMsgr shows the other whether the msg is delivered and/or read. So she sees that I've read it and still haven't responded.
If she's telling me something, no response at all. Just that I read it.
If it's a question, I vary the time delay from 'read' to respond with importance; my mood or my day.
BBM is great. Wish I could get into w's and download all her msgs. So the closest I can come is get into her mind with a little delay/defer on hers to me.
I'm not being anything other than courteous, no relationship talk whatsoever I'm not the one texting her first...and I also have the last word..how can I go wrong? I'm not taking the bait as everything is okay and expanding our conversation past that...I'm guilty of neglect FULL fledged Neglect....why is it in the best interest to not respond/communicate in this way.
Because, you answered her right away, like you were hanging there, holding your phone, just HOPING she'd send you a text message.
Pursuing. Needy. Not attractive.
Better:
The next morning, write her back "Sorry -- just saw this. Hope you are doing well! -- MCL"
Let's face it, when we're in these sitches, our reasoning is usually FLAWED. That's why we need everyone else to help us with the counter-intuitive stuff.
Well after I wrote that stuff I had opened my work email and she said Good Morning like 3 hours ago, so I responded before reading this and said good morning back. Now she knows I'm at work not sulking at home or drowning in sorrow...should have I responded? LOL
Least I can laugh about this [censored]. So another 2x4 incoming?
But just to clarify the text thing. I WAS NOT waiting for her to text me last night. When she left I kind of expected not to hear from her for a couple dats actually. Normally I keep my phone with me/by me just in case, but last night I left it on the kitchen counter.
And to see a good morning email blew me away. Why is she doing this if she doesn't miss me? Can anyone tell me that? 2x4 Inc
But just to clarify the text thing. I WAS NOT waiting for her to text me last night. When she left I kind of expected not to hear from her for a couple dats actually. Normally I keep my phone with me/by me just in case, but last night I left it on the kitchen counter.
Go back and read what I wrote. I didn't way you were; I said it's like you were -- from her perspective. Which is the most important thing right now, wouldn't you agree?
You want to convey two things at this stage:
1. You are BUSY -- active, busy, interesting, on-the-go, notimetochat.
2. You are MYSTERIOUS. New clothes, new shoes, new cologne, new haircut, new schedule. Be a little vague!!!
Puppy
P.S. She's likely doing this to see if she can still control you -- get you to respond. It's basic male/female human dynamics. It's pretty standard "script."
