If she hasn't even filed yet I wuoldn't worry much about it...

The best thing to do is just act casual like you just opened a catalogue...

But you are getting ahead of yourself.

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Here's a youtube vid from teh dr phil show.. This is for kids using drugs, but it does show how hard he reccomends you crack down on threats to your home :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nANonehs5po&feature=related

And yes it is easier when its your child rather than your spouse, but the point is the same... you don't mess around when your home, your kids, or your marriage is threatened like this...