Exposed finally,,limbo land

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Wayward wives do NOT make good mothers!

[Allen A]

Uh oh.. The Red Skull is out... Pupper's gonna bust some heads now!

[newmama]

Optimust, good job dealing with damage control re: talking to your DD without bashing your W despite her horrible parental actions

AND for hooking her up with the friend who is impartial and wants the best for your DDs.

My custody class has emphasized that we are not to bash the other parent and we also should not give our kids advice about the sitch but to find someone they can trust and talk to. The latter is confusing to me, but the psychologists are the ones who come up with these guidelines based on their research.

So, you are a terrific father and your DDs are super lucky to have you there to help them through this. Well done!!!

And my jaw dropped and I called your W some nasty names when I read about what happened.

[Optimust]

I am in the middle of moving the girls to my number one priority over the M, and they have been in the lead over the last week or so. I can’t really see the M taking over anytime soon, being the W is in the throws of the A and MLC(or one he!! of a lot of the symptoms of one). I’m still getting surprised by W’s actions though, they just keep getting worse, hopefully she will hit bottom soon.

W’s best friend is kind of a two prong benefit. I did it solely to get my D14 talking to someone that she could purge some of this stuff my W has put her through, and exposed her to. But now I’ve been thinking it through, and there is a second benefit. D14 told her things about W(I’m sure of and will verify tomorrow), that WBF was having a hard time believing when it was coming from me(she actually went into full W protection for a while). So for the immediate future and for a while she will be questioning just about every word W says and action W takes. She did shoot about 10-15 TM back and forth with W after talking with D14, questioning where she was according to D14. So the silent pressure W was putting on herself from everyone but BF and D14, will be joined by skeptical if not full blown pressure from those two also. From things WBF said recently, I think she was buying W’s story of being non-physical A with a lot less time spent with OM.

W has spent the better part of 8 of the last 10 days with OM, blowing off DD’s, work, and all family. It feels as though it is building up to bite her back hard and soon, without me doing much, except trying to be a good dad. Oh ya, only two anxiety pills taken all this time also(as opposed to 4-5 a day when this started)

[Puppy Dog Tails]

It feels as though it is building up to bite her back hard and soon, without me doing much, except trying to be a good dad.

Sometimes that's what annoys them the most.


Puppy

[Optimust]

W came home 7 am to her place today, I called her to get together about D14, and she agreed to meet before I went to work. I went in with the idea of just getting it squared away as far as D14 reporting to me when W chooses to ‘leave town’(OM over 1 hour away). Unfortunately I skirted a couple other issues I didn't intend to, but at least thier out in the open also.

She had sent me an e-mail with D14 discipline spelled out, obviously worked on by OM and her, way to wordy and not motherly but a smidge. She said I should read and make amendments if I like, and that we don’t have to give it to her at all.(overly stern in her opinion, OM influence, without admitting he helped). I think it will be presented as written, so D14 can fell warm and fuzzy about W and OM(not, lol).

As far as the meeting went, W looked like she got drug through a keyhole, and was not talkative at all. She did mention that her best friend did contact her about D14, and was obviously bothered by it, wanting to know how they got together. I told her I had a hand in it for D14 health and well-being.

Apparently she is going to alter the standard amount she puts into joint account, so everything might escalate a bit from the financial standpoint. I will need to monitor it closely.

[Optimust]

She is demanding D now. FIL went by W’s work yesterday with her step mom and I guess chat was super short. Normally he always takes her to lunch but didn’t ask. W avoided talking with me and kept me from coming over to see D14, then called at 11pm, chit-chat, chit-chat, then,,,BAM - “You’ve ruined my relationship with my father and everyone else, everyone is on your side, I have no one. If I can’t have a relationship with my dad, I don’t want one with you. I want a D and that’s final, I have some papers I want you to sign.”

I’m really not feeling to hot right now. At all.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

She is demanding D now. FIL went by W’s work yesterday with her step mom and I guess chat was super short. Normally he always takes her to lunch but didn’t ask. W avoided talking with me and kept me from coming over to see D14, then called at 11pm, chit-chat, chit-chat, then,,,BAM - “You’ve ruined my relationship with my father and everyone else, everyone is on your side, I have no one. If I can’t have a relationship with my dad, I don’t want one with you. I want a D and that’s final, I have some papers I want you to sign.”

A: "I'm really sorry you feel that way. Everything I have done, and am doing, is to fight for our marriage and our family. Give me the papers, and I'll go over them with my attorney. -- O"

[Optimust]

OK - Seems like the only answer. I was thinking of throwing a fit, and going into the whole,"My fault? You are the one having the A! Your the one committing Adultary! Your the one that has ruined or done damage to any of your relationships! I just told the truth to the people that care about our family, including you." But, I think I will just go with the line above. I just don't know how to keep it that short. I'm not going to contact her as normal after work(more of the same), and let her do whatever. She did sign us up for parenting classes for D court requirement.

I will need to take whatever she gives me to L, and just keep trying to keep a PMA. Some days it is tough.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

But, I think I will just go with the line above. I just don't know how to keep it that short.

Its brevity is intentional, Opti. This is you, dropping the rope, and no longer trying to "sell" her on loving you.


Puppy