Early Parole from the MLC Chain Gang?????

[MHL]

More Journaling and opportunity for you guys to give me some 2x4's.

I initiated contact with my W not 24 hours after I said I would not, It ended up being very positive but I would rather my W initiate contact me.

I called her this morning to talk about the kids visiting with her this week. This coming weekend is her weekend with the kids and in addition to that I am going to leave on Thursday night. (She usually sees them Tues and Thur. nights also). I need to make sure that was okay and see if she wanted to see them on both Tues and Wed.

I called her at work and she answered “hi”, must have seen my number pop up. The tone of her voice was soft and pleasant not harsh and cold. I was the one who called but she immediately asked me about going to Nana’s for the weekend…..

“D13 told me that you had already made plans to go to Nana’s (my MIL) with the kids this this weekend. Do you want to go?”

At first I thought she was asking me to go with her, but I realized what she asked and I replied that I was looking forward to it and I asked if it was okay and she said it was fine. I had already asked for all 4 of us to go a week ago and she said no so I was not going to ask again. We ended up talking for 45 minutes. It was very nice and I think I set up a date!!

I was telling her about coming across our tennis rackets in the garage and I asked if she wanted to go and hit some balls with me (just me) or play a game. She did not hesitate, she immediately said “yes”. I suggested tonight after work and she could not b/c she has her last class on “boundaries” (she is taking a class at roommate’s church on “Boundaries” by Townsend) I said lets try for next Monday and she said “Sure”.

Okay, I initiated again……Swing away.

We went on to talk about a lot of different things, books we are reading, the kids, work, her roommate, her mom, my mom, St. Augustine, anything but no R talk. It was relaxed and very comfortable and we just kept going. I made sure to compliment her on being a strong person and for doing a good job raising the kids b/c they are being so good for me.

She said that it meant a lot to her to hear me say those things. (LL….words of affirmation)

Half way through the conversation, she stated that she wanted to tell me something, I thought to myself this was too good to be true, here comes the “I’m filing for D speech”…..not so.

This is probably the most important part of our conversation for me, because I did not react to what she told me she had done.

My W had come over to the neighborhood pool last Monday to with her 25 yr old roomie, I figured she came over to the house, she still has a key and the garage door is programmed into her car. I really don’t care, I want her to spend more time at the house.

My W went on to tell me that she wanted to get the collectable pens that belonged to her deceased father. She noticed that a pen we purchased together was not there. (I had taken it out and was going to take a picture of it and sell it on ebay,) I did not put it back with her father’s pens instead I put it in one of my dresser drawers. Well she told me she took it and she wanted to let me know so I would not get mad.

This was a fairly expensive collectable writing instrument and has probably increased in value, it was not listed as property she wanted in our separation agreement. Additionally, she had to go hunting for it. The thing I care about most in this situation is that I did not react……I did even have a feeling, nothing. I had every right to be upset, angry and otherwise pissed. Not so, I told her “that is fine, I was thinking about selling it but if you want it, it is okay with me”. She said we could talk about it, and I said “no, you keep it, no problem.”

While I still have strong feelings for my W and I know I haven’t fully detached, I don’t get upset like I used to.

I actually surprised myself, I have changed, I did not have to think about it, staying calm and not letting my emotions rule the day is part of who I am now.

I actually broke off the conversation but before I did I told her how much I appreciated the fact that she told me and I also assured her that while I have changed some things in the house, I am taking good care of her belongings and if she can’t find anything I know exactly where everything is.

More steps in the dance that is MLC.