Hi there Cathy, Been a while (... what else is new?) ...but want drop by and let you know I think you been hanling yourself splendidly with all the great advise you have been receiving and seem to be still inching forward with those baby steps!
i wanted to stop by to thank you for being the person that you are. you are the prime example (poster child if you will) of what detachment can do to your well being
H called. I answer the phone...H doesn't say anything for a minute...hmmmm my thoughts now are he's in his control mindset...and he is...very different mood of the last few days.
Wants to know what I've been doing the last couple of nights. I say I've been hanging around the house doing things. H says WHY? I say a reason. So H then asks again WHY I haven't gone anywhere. Gave another reason. H says WHY?
Asks again if I'm going on a trip that I said I might be taking. I said I'm not going, the only way I'm going is if you go with me. And H says "well you know I'm not going" and I said I figured that, but I'm not going. H then quoted me as saying if I had the chance I'd go. I then say for the money I'd rather put it someplace else. I need to keep my mouth shut about plans from now on....and so noted Cathy!
I wish I knew what was in his mind when he gets in the mindset. I can't quite figure out where the "why's" are coming from..is it a control thing with H? Is he trying to contol my mind, push my buttons. He keeps asking why, when I've obviously told me or is he looking for a different answer or trying to drive me nuts? H has always been like this, too.
He was just full of questions, so maybe when H has a case of the "whys" I need to dig deeper and come up with a profound reason. He just keeps asking why, even if I tell him why. Should I just ask him why HE keeps asking why, I don't get it?
I'm going to have to really think on this one. The whole conversation actually because we seem to have it a lot, different subjects, but the same conversations and always the "whys."
H is stopping over after work to pick up mail, is headed north hunting for the weekend.
H also asked if son asked about him? I said yes S does ask about you. You're his father H, he always asks about you. H says how does he know I'm not there? I said again, you're his father, there is a connection there, a very strong connection. Why wouldn't he ask about you, you're his father. Just tried to validate to H that you are S's father and there is a connection there..whether you're there or not. Said this is the way I feel about it and maybe you feel something different (or something like that-letting H know that his feelings didn't have to mathc mine) I then mentioned the fact that S almost started crying the other night when H picked S up to hug and H remembers this, too. H said why was he crying? I said he was happy to see you, don't you see his face when you come in the door, he's happy to see you...he was just emotional about seeing you. Is my H that stupid and blind that he can't believe his son loves him and misses him?!! I mean come on here, it is his son for goodness sake. Is my H's self-esteem so low that he can't believe his soon to be 4 year old son doesn't miss him, care about him, love him...jeez...or in my eyes, put this much responsibility on this little boy or his other son...what is wrong here.
...but want drop by and let you know I think you been hanling yourself splendidly with all the great advise you have been receiving and seem to be still inching forward with those baby steps! 
