Very briefly, my current sitch is that W blew-up on 1/3/10. Standard WAW fare. Between then and 6/12, I read 4 books, had been doing 180's and paying more attention to my wife, but it was viewed as pursuing heavily, desperate, needy and not appreciated in the least. Found out about 3 mo EA in mid-May and called her on it. It lasted about another month and I think has stopped now. W file for D the week of 6/12 and snapped me out of my fog. Since then, I have been trying to DB, but have made my share of mistakes. Both of us have lawyers.
I was trying to be good and stay away from this site for a bit based on DDay's advice, but I just got the news that my Hearing for a Temporary Order that was scheduled for tomorrow afternoon has been rescheduled to 8/3 due to my attorney's illness.
I was actually looking forward to this hearing to gain a little clarity as to financial responsibilities and such. I feel like I have been paying more than my fair share of the bills and wanted a court order to decree what should be happening.
I have really been trying hard at the DBing, getting a life, doing 180's and such, but it occurs to me that I probably haven't been acting "as if". I feel like I am in a very tough situation and that nothing I am doing is prompting any change from W. I may need to change tactics slightly.
Anyway, the question I now have is do I approach W about working something out regarding bill paying? I was thinking about telling her that since the hearing was delayed, I want to work something out that looks like what the court MAY have ordered. Something like splitting the bills based on our incomes? Is this a safe topic to approach while trying to DB?
I know it will probably make her mad, but I don't care and I think we need to have some rules. We have also been racing to schedule dates to do things with the kids. If one has already booked, the other is out. Maybe we should lay down some ground rules in that area too.
