btw, awesome screen name. A good friend of mine used to use the same one here, after starting with "Trying My Best" and then growing into it. Big sneakers to fill, but I'm biased.
You are in a chicken-and-the-egg situation, and your wife has it exactly backwards. Until your wife ends her affair with this other man, she's not GOING to have "those kinds of feelings" for you again -- that's just a chemical/physiological FACT. Do some research, and Google "love lust brain chemical addiction PEA" and see what you learn.
In my opinion, MCing is a waste of time when one of the spouses is having an affair. Even Retrouvaille won't take you for a weekend in those circumstances. Any good IC worth their salt will tell your wife that she owes it to HERSELF (nevermind you) to separate herself from any third-party emotional entanglements while she goes thru such major decision-making.
