SR- it's just mind-boggling, isn't it. I am very thankful there is no OW in my case, but in a way that might almost make more sense (but would be 100x more painful). The "alien possession" thing that the book talks about is true in my house. Most of my H's great personality - at least towards me- is gone. He shows it to everyone else- he's even nicer to my BFF than me when she comes over. And she has a hard time holding her tongue. It's a little humiliating to be ignored and then someone else walks in the door and the inner him shines through. As soon as that 3rd person leaves, I get the alien back... And all the people in my life are treating him still with respect- partly b/c they know he's a good person deep down, but also out of respect for me and my child. It would feel better temporarily to have them all hate him openly, but it won't help in the long run, I know.
